Zombie Chic.

Wouldn't it be wicked if we were all dead?
Well… No?

Zombies… Really? Still?! It’s 2011, what the fuck is wrong with you? Surely this thing has to die (wheyyyy) soon? Movies, TV shows, computer games, photo-shoots, every fancy dress party, every Halloween, every fucking chance they get, cretins seem to delight in rolling around in flour, putting on some ripped clothes and throwing fake blood over each other.

‘BRAINZ, BRRRAAAAIIIINNZZZZ…’ Oh fuck off, mate.

It seems that ‘Zombie-chic’ has now crossed over from a joke into a fully developed subculture which (like most/all subcultures) is tedious to the fucking extreme.

Take for example, the ‘concerned citizen’ who took time out of his day to write to Leicester City Council and ask how prepared they were for ‘a Zombie invasion’ After the Council admitted it was not prepared for such a made up event, 150 people left their parent’s spare rooms, took to the streets and slowly Zombie-shuffled through the town centre…

I mean, haha, don’t get me wrong, hahahaha, I do bloody love a good laugh, hohoho, and this is VERY funny. Funny AND clever. Hohohohohoooo, hahahaha, Leicester, ay? The things that town gets up to… HAHAHA! SO FUNNY! I mean, that hilarious guy must have been the king of Warhammer club the next day when he told his friends about it over a mug of Ribena. I bet they all laughed so hard they had to get their inhalers out. Thank god their glasses were tied to their heads or I’m sure they would have fallen off too. Oh lord the hilarity! I can only imagine how much fun these guys had. Eurgggghhhhh, so funny.

The irony of course is that there IS a plague spreading across the world, infecting people and turning them into mumbling, slow walking, smelly fucking idiots. Hell is indeed full and the dead stupid are being spat back onto the earth to fuck up our lives and make us miserable.

Please, PLEASE stop, you fucking awful cunts.