David Walliams and Matt Lucas

Having just spent a laugh free hour watching Lucas and Walliams newest show "Come Fly With Me", I feel compelled to write something about these two catch phrase spewing imbeciles and their uninspiring form of "comedy". It has taken me years to banish the haunting memories of their last show "Little Britain" to oblivion, but their newest travesty has unlocked that forbidden chamber of my mind. Their blatant style of gross-out, catchphrase and slapstick orientated comedy leaves me feeling cold and exhausted, and serves as a depressing reminder of how disconnected I am with the general public's tastes.

Lets be honest, Little Britain was a show that was written with the lowest common denominator in mind. It's target demographic was the type of morons that would recite idiotic catchphrases, and wear novely T shirts with slogans such as "IT'S CHICO TIME" or "FACE...BOTHERED?." These brainless simpletons will laugh at anything that is written in a way that uses catchphrase prompts to instruct them on when the appropriate moment to laugh is. The jokes in Little Britain were moronic, repetitive and often plain racist yet the idiotic general public ate this up like it was their last meal. Every sketch in Little Britain revolved around a catchphrase, which would be uttered by some stereotyped charicature in a marginally different scenario every episode...yet the idiots would still laugh. These idiots would regurgitate the catchphrases, and irritatingly employ them in situations in their everyday life, for example;
"Uh oh, the computers not working"...(wait for it....) "COMPUTER SAYS NO!" Predictably some fucking moron will respond with this terrible catchphrase , then desperately watch the reactions of the people around them to see if they understand their reference, as if we are all subscribers in some secret Little Britain club. Everytime this happens part of my soul dies forever, and my ability to laugh decreases by 2%.
I'm in a shop buying something from behind the counter (nothing sinister, calm down!), and I have to point to it because the shopkeeper couldn't see it. "No not that one, that one....yeah I want that one". At this moment the shopkeeper will interrupt with "HE WANTS THAT ONE!", like that sequence of words has triggered a compulsion for him to scream a rubbish catchphrase at me. Hidden balloons then drop from the ceiling, and I am presented with an award (I exaggerate).
It was impossible to escape these unimaginative catchphrases for several years, which were never funny first time...let alone a million times later! I thought that we would be rid of these two bastards after Little Britain finally came to an end, an event that in my mind is as significant as the fall of the Berlin Wall. After years of tyranny, we were free to live without the fear of having a slogan thrust in our faces by a cretinous parrot....or so we thought.

Walliams and Lucas (the turds that won't flush) are back with another show, a mockumentary parody of Airport reality shows. Here is a short list of the types of characters that feature in this side-splitting show;

• Muslim airport ground worker that drives around leering at women and talking about "getting pussy" a lot. The joke is that he's a Muslim but is also sexually forward towards women, whoahhhhh this oxymoron is hurting my head!
• Afro Carribean old woman that works in a coffee shop, but always ends up shutting it early because she's lazy.....awesome.
  
• Foreign airport company owner (meant to be a parody of Easyjet owner Stelios Haji Ioannou), that is very cheap and determined to cut corners on safety.
• Japanese schoolgirls that are obsessed with Western celebrities, who giggle and say hilarious things at that crazy Japanese language of theirs. HILARIOUS
  

Sounds promising right? Yeah I didn't think so. "Come Fly With Me" yet again reminds us that both Walliams and Lucas are completely lacklustre writers, that rely entirely on ignorant stereotypes to wrangle a cheap laugh out of their numbskull audience. In essence, this is basically a modern day Minstrel show! The controversial "blacking up" of the characters in this show desperately tries to mask the blatant inadequacies of the script, but it crashes and burns in a hideous car crash. I can't believe this passes as entertainment these days, everybody involved with this mediocre cringe fest should be fired! I am not one of those freaks that would burn a TV license outside of the BBC headquarters in protest, but since watching this embarrassment I have the urge to shit in an envelope and post it to them.

If you were to look at both "Little Britain" and "Come Fly With Me" from a neutral perspective, there is something overtly wrong about the types of jokes they are making. The characters are all marginalised members of society (easy prey) such as ethnic minorities, single mothers, homosexuals, the disabled, the poor and the elderly. I'm not the fucking comedy police, neither am I a PC fascist....but I still don't find an old lady pissing herself in public, a mentally ill patient making a repetive noise or a sexually active 12 tear old particularly funny. Without these marginalised punch bag stereotypes the careers of Walliams and Lucas would be down the toilet, as they consistently prove themselves to be the new generation of Jim Davidson/Bernard Manning style humour.

I remember hearing a statistic once that 1 in 3 families owned a Little Britain DVD. Seriously Big Britain, what the fuck is wrong with you? British comedy is fucking amazing, stop watching this mind numbing crap and check out the other shows on offer....you will soon realise how dire the writing of this set of insufferable cunts really is!