Bus Drivers

Since the age of 11 getting the bus has become a part of everyday life, a part which I loath. Bus journeys alone are horrible, being awkwardly crammed into a seat next to somebody that you would probably avoid like the plaque in regular circumstances is bad enough, but there is something else that I dread in equal parts....the bus driver!
Bus drivers are the designated drivers of those that wish that they had cars, and could avoid being subjected to this public toilet on wheels nightmare. They are responsible for our safety on our journeys, but in my experience have been some of the most unhelpful jobsworth minions that I've ever encountered! My top reasons for hating these tramps chaffeurs are;

• Sadism- I can recall countless times when these sadistic bastards have seen me running for the bus and driven away on purpose. I hate the giant wing mirrors on buses that enable you to see the smug face of the driver as he acknowledges that he's seen you but won't stop the bus anyway. I bet he stores these memories and furiously masturbates and cries to them at night.
  

• "We don't do change"- This is more the fault of the bus companies, who insist on living in the good old days, and not changing with the times by utilising technology such as chip and pin. The vast majority of tickets are bought with cash, why the fuck is it my problem that you're not prepared for the volume of cash transactions? I hate the sigh that a bus driver makes when you attempt to pay for a £1 ticket with a £5 note. "Uhhhhhhhhh do you not have anything smaller?" No, and I'm unwilling to go and buy something I don't need to acquire the appropriate coins that you should have in the first place you fucking moron!
  

• Rudeness- Ok...I'm the first one to admit that I would probably struggle not to become a jaded old bastard after being forced to deal with the general public on a daily basis, but do they really have to be such jaded old bastards? Customer service is obviously not a nescessary skill to become a bus driver, being a petty old misery must be part of the job description! I hope that interaction made you feel better about your monotonous life driving around in circles all day at designated times you pathetic twat!

I know that a minority of nice bus drivers do probably exist, but for every nice bus driver there are 100 bitter jobsworth bastards that are intent on making your journey as uncomfortable as possible. The next time a bus driver disrespects me I'm going to let him have it....(by getting off the bus and not saying thanks...take that you fucking nazi!)