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Thursday, 2 December 2010

Trampy Bo-ho (Ra Girls)

"Trampy Bo-ho (Bohemian)" is a style that privilidged girls have adopted to show us all that whilst they are incredibly rich, they are also incredibly hip. We've all seen them with their big fluffy 80's hair metal esque poofs, headbands, Jack Wills apparel, Ugg boots, ironic burberry, massive bags (sometimes carrying hairless freak dogs), ridiculously large earrings and pearl necklaces. They travel in packs, often with the richest and most bohemian girl being the leader of their group of sycophantic lackeys. They often have nicknames such as "Tigger" or "Pippa", which of course they have invented themselves.
We all know the type, and if we're not regal enough to be part of their little clique then we all fucking hate them....at least that's what they think. No we are not jealous of your vaccuous little lives, we all just genuinely really dislike you! These are my top reasons for hating these fucking cretins;
  • Despite their tiny IQ's and ineptness at pretty much everything, they are incredibly confident. This confidence stems from their spoilt upbringings in which the word "No" has never been used. This sickening amount of self confidence causes them to look down on everybody, and treat anybody they meet as their lesser. Sorry but the feudal sysyem doesn't exist anymore, I can tell you what a fucking idiot you are without the fear of having my head chopped off by your uncle the King!
  • They wear their pyjamas to the shops to buy choccies, fags and wine and have a "totalllllly Bridget Jones night LOL". "OMG why is everyone looking at us?" We are all looking at you because to put it simply you look like a moron, and you are deperately trying to get a reaction out of everybody. Just do us all a favour and stay indoors yeah?
  • "Oh yahhhh I don't make any effort to look like this, this is just what my hair looks like in the morning". REALLY? Sorry but we all realise that in actuality it took you a long time to perfect that "shagged backwards through a bush" look.....and honey I hate to break it to you but you look ridiculous. What would the polo club thing of your rogueish fashion style?
  • Their male friends all have double barrelled surnames, and wouldn't look out of place if their heads were super imposed onto a portrait of an Edwardian prince. They like nothing more than breaking out renditions of old rugby songs and playing games such as "toss the biscuit" to bring back nostalgic memories of their private boarding school days.
Basically the sooner that you enter a loveless marriage with a rich man, fuck off to a counry manor, force out a couple of equally cretinous children, eventually develop a massive alcohol dependency and drop dead the better!

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