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Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Cash Machine Ettiquette

When using a busy cash machine, abide by the following rules, you prick.

  • DO NOT CHECK YOUR BALANCE. Everyone should know what they have in there bank. If, for some reason you don't, select the 'Cash with on screen balance' option. DO NOT check you balance and sigh/complain/check your wallet/rustle through your reciepts/count on your fingers/ask the people you're with how much money they think you will need. You are old enough to have money, therefore you should be old enough to understand how it works.
  • KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE GETTING OUT. When the cash screen comes up, press the required amount, again, as above, don't work it out there and then, you've been waiting in the queue for five minutes, you should thought about it then. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, get a tenner out and realise you need twenty and start again, once your card is out of the machine, you're done. If you need to use it again, get to the back of the queue.
  • NO BUTTERS. This counts for any queue, no cutting in. No 'saving your mate/mates a place'
  • ONE CARD EACH. If you have more than one account and you need to get cash out of two, queue twice or use two machines etc... NEVER EVER, EVER, check your balance, sigh, check your other cards balance, sigh, check a THIRD cards balance and then go back to the FIRST ONE to get cash. THERE ARE 7 PEOPLE ON THEIR LUNCH BREAKS WAITING BEHIND YOU, YOU CUNT.

My life gets harder day by day because of pricks that can't follow the rules.

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